Shunning and Suicide in the Jehovah’s Witnesses: Alienation’s Deadly Toll

By 2018-02-26T07:11:56+00:00on February 26th, 2018
Alienation, Shunning, Jehovah's Witnesses|50 Comments

Shunning, one of the most abusive practice of high-pressure groups, is often the most obvious sign that a group is abusive. It tears families and communities apart, forcing many to choose between their faith and their loved ones. Whether it is called Shunning, Disconnection, Ostracism, or De-FOOing, the harsh reality of alienation ensures that those who leave the group are cut off absolutely, often losing their entire community – friends, relatives, and their complete support system.

For one woman in Michigan who had left the Jehovah’s Witnesses, the strain of losing her community was too much, and, struggling under the weight of the shame her abusers had taught her to assume, she drowned the family dog and shot her husband and two adult children, before turning the gun on herself. According to family friends, Lauren Stuart and her husband had left the organization because their children wished to attend college – something the Jehovah’s Witnesses strongly discourage – and she wished to pursue a modeling career. Because she could no longer be a member of the group in good standing, former friends ignored her, looking the other way when seeing her in town, refusing to speak with her or acknowledge her presence. In a small community, such treatment can make life intolerable, and although the Jehovah’s Witnesses have claimed in court that shunning is a “personal choice” and never absolute, their own internal convention videos show a harsh reality, where parents are coached to ignore their own children if they are disfellowshipped.

Although details in this case are still forthcoming, it is clear that such tragedies will continue to happen whenever people are shunned: this is not the first incident of a Jehovah’s Witnesses committing a murder-suicide in reaction to shunning: in 2001, Christian Longo murdered his wife and three young children in response to his expulsion from the Jehovah’s Witnesses, and in 2014, another Jehovah’s Witness father in South Carolina murdered his wife and children before committing suicide. Sadly, the Watchtower is not the only organization that practices this most cruel form of undue influence.

Our friends Robin and Mike of What’s Up Watchtower, themselves ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses, have produced an excellent video discussing the case in depth; it is a deeply personal subject for them, as they have lost their own families to the evil practice of shunning. Also, our friends JT and Lady Cee of Ex-JW Critical Thinker have interviewed Joyce Taylor, a close personal friend of the Stuart family, herself a former member of the group. Both videos are thoughtfully done and provide compelling listening.

At Open Minds, we believe that all people should be able to practice the faith of their choice, or not practice, as their own conscience and beliefs dictate – without the threat of losing their friends, their family, and their community.

What do you think about this article? Do you agree? Do you have a story about shunning that you’d like to share? We’d love to hear from you! 

This article was compiled by the Open Minds Editorial Staff.


  1. Wendy Oakley February 26, 2018 at 4:31 pm - Reply

    Shunning is horrendous. I grew up in the cult and have been removed for several years. I hear rumours about what my family are saying about me. It is more then heartbreak. My daughter has painted me to be less then subhuman. When she allowed me to see my grandchildren it had to be in a public place. I feel like a criminal.

  2. Dokobrandon February 26, 2018 at 4:36 pm - Reply

    I read about the Stuart family in the news and others similar. Is sad.

  3. April Conley February 26, 2018 at 5:36 pm - Reply

    I have also left this organization, it has been years, but it affects me every day. Thankfully, I see more and more evidence of this organization losing its grip on reality, and its hold on people. People I used to know…leaving it also. Unfortunatley, my family for the most part shuns me, its something Ive had to learn to live with, but it is definately a form of mental manipulation and torture, which is why it is so effective. I was married to an alcohlic “elder,” for many years. My story is a long one, but is similiar to many others Im sure. Fortunately for me, my children are critical thinkers, and saw the toxic environment of this cult as well. We are leading rewarding and rich lives. The truth really can set you free! It just isnt the version of “truth” that the group of men in Brooklyn are coming up with.

  4. Patricia Warmack February 26, 2018 at 5:58 pm - Reply

    A childhood friend of mine was being shunned by his JW family – except when they needed to borrow money from him. He killed himself in February 2016. He told me a few times that he missed his family. I under estimated how sad he really was and was so hurt and angry upon learning of his death.

  5. JWIntellect February 26, 2018 at 6:10 pm - Reply

    This is extremely devastating and must be stopped!

  6. Dave Gracey February 26, 2018 at 6:16 pm - Reply

    This story saddens me more than I can tell you. My wife and I were disfellowshipped 7 years ago and were initially shunned by my grown children and grandchildren. Both are now out of the cult as are my two step daughters and their families. I still have family in who shun me and it has disrupted our relationship to the point where we have virtually no contact. The Watchtower and religions like them that use shunning as a tool to keep their religion clean from apostate contact as they refer to most anyone who leaves or is expelled is really a tool they use to control their members. Sadly this is not the last time we will hear of tragic events such as this as long as the shunning policy is used to control their members.

  7. Tatiana February 26, 2018 at 6:40 pm - Reply!Aslr8oN56fKQab-51asudO0ToPw
    I’m proposing a bill that bans predatory alienation. This is not acceptable.

  8. Javier Ortiz February 26, 2018 at 7:12 pm - Reply

    Thanks for sharing this. Shunning is a terrible thing. I keep revisiting Kip William’s research on ostracism and the following quote jumps out at me: “Our studies indicate that the initial reaction to ostracism is pain, which is similarly felt by all individuals regardless of personality or social/situational factors”.

  9. Maria February 26, 2018 at 7:27 pm - Reply

    Shunning is pure evil. My father and sister have nothing to do with me, and haven’t for over ten years now. My mother and other sister also shun me, for marrying a man they dislike (non religious reasons) so I have lost my whole family.
    It’s sick, and needs to stop. Do these accounts of suicide mean nothing to these people?!
    It’s resulting in serious mental health problems and deep depression, worldwide, yet they still adhere to the 8 men in NY, as this is NOT biblical!!

  10. daniel duron February 26, 2018 at 8:53 pm - Reply

    In Oregon we in the last few years we have had two family murder suicides, namely the Logo case and the Bryant case both given a great deal of press. We have had several suicides and suicide attempts some in my extended family. Some shunning will soon get some press coverage. My oldest brother just died after being shunned for60 years. I have 5 brothers and many nephews and nieces that have had their shunning begin in their early teenage years. My niece Lisa 15 years old and never even baptized, was shunned when she came to say goodbye to her dying mother, Likewise my niece Amber was put out of the house with only a suitcase at the same age. Generally in my experience they do not acknowledge that they practice shunning, but then why did they fight for the right to practice it all the way through the United States Supreme court? {Janice Paul vs Watchtower}

  11. Paul February 27, 2018 at 12:16 am - Reply

    Shunning is a violation of basic human rights. I do not think that there is any way of sugar coating it to make it seem OK.
    The problem is that governments seem very reluctant to take religions to task on this matter, or on many others either.
    The undue influence that cults exercise over their members ir replicated in the influence that religions have over politicians!

    • Shibboleth February 27, 2018 at 1:25 am - Reply

      I am currently being marked and shunned for commenting on the ARC child abuse cases and other cases around the world. No one from the congregation calls or talks to me because they were told “it would be at their own risk”. Now that I am on the other side of the coin, i can see and feel this is cruel and this is definitely not loving, but hatred and bullying done by the people who you were willing to give your life for…utter betrayal at its best

      • Shannon A Boswell July 11, 2018 at 8:51 pm - Reply

        I am new to this site and I felt your comment hit home. I am a baptized witness and my daughter and her husband have left the organization because they could not swallow the whole 2 witness rule when it comes to all of the molestation cases. They have been disassociated and now I am being told I can no longer gave contact with them. I’m having a huge problem with this and have continued our relationship and now people in my congregation are already ignoring me. My husband is on me constantly to stop speaking to my daughter. I feel like I will eventually be disfelloshipped for this and at this point that’s ok with me but I know I will also lose my husband who i love dearly. I’m so confused right now as to what to do. I just want some time to figure this out but it seems like they wont allow anyone to have some free thinking time. Just connected with your comment and wanted to share.

        • Naomi ludden August 20, 2018 at 9:55 pm - Reply

          Please please I beg you don’t walk but run away as fast as you can or you will regret and pay a terrible price sincerely naomi an ex jw who doesn’t want you to suffer

      • Stacy November 23, 2018 at 5:03 pm - Reply

        Did your former friends see comments by you on social media?

  12. Diane Dolbee February 27, 2018 at 6:29 am - Reply

    I sent in my letter of resignation over 30 years ago – I lost my entire family and friends. Being raised in the faith, I had to start over I still think about them everyday, although for me, the pain has been worth it as I see the life my kids have. My youngest is heading off to college in the fall and the fun and opportunities he has brings me more joy than the pain of losing my family. I do, however, see how someone could be overcome by the grief and darkness experienced by being shunned and completely obliterated from the family unit. The stories are heart wrenching.

  13. Ant leeds February 27, 2018 at 9:56 am - Reply

    This cult totally robbed me of my childhood and riddled me full of guilt , I hope to see the destruction of this dispicable brain washing cult ,it prays on the vulnerable

  14. Will Enoch February 27, 2018 at 11:09 am - Reply

    I found out about my granddaughter around 2013 through facebook and my grandson in 2017 through facebook because my own daughter shuns me because I’m disfellowshipped from Watch Tower Society, aka Jehovah’s Witnesses.

    I took a never-been Watch Tower Society member friend to a Kingdom Hall meeting and my friend could hardly believe her eyes when someone there reached out to shake my hand and I said I’m disfellowshipped and that person automatically turned from me and shook my friend’s hand.

    Watch Tower Society teaches Jehovah’s Witnesses to display no natural affection for the disfellowshipped and uses the fear of being ostracized to coerce its members to obey its shunning policy.

  15. John Butler February 27, 2018 at 3:21 pm - Reply

    Well maybe it’s worse in the USA it seems. I’ll give you my version and will tell you first that i have left the JW Org around two months ago after having done three months research into the Child Abuse / Pedophilea problen within the Org Earthwide. So basically i left this year 2018. Now over a year ago one of our daughters left he Org because she had started a same sex relationship. Another of our daughters actually reported her to the Elders. The Elders went to visit the first daughter and i presume that she said she wanted to no longer be a JW. I presume this because it happened too quickly for it to be a disfellowshipping. (I haven’t asked her as it’s none of my business). Anyway, my wife and I said we would continue to visit her and converse with her, and I told other members of the congregation that i would do so. I had no fear of the Elders, i had made my choice. We visited our daughter on various occasions even having a lovely dinner at their house with both our daughter and her girlfriend. We never spoke about the ‘truth’ with them and certainly never put any pressure on them to change their lifestyle. As it happens they have split now, but even so I’ve never asked why. It is still none of my business. However our daughter knows that we are there for her if she needs us and we still visit her… Now moving forward in time…. When i decided to leave the JW Org, way back in October 2017, I told a lot of people of my plans. I didn’t tell the Elders for two reasons, 1. I don’t trust any of them, 2. I wanted to see if anyone else would tell them. As it happened it seems they never found out until i sent out emails to most of them one day. I sent out emails to as many as i could so that they all had the same info’ at the same time. Their action was to send an old Elder to me to try to get meto change my mind. Now listen to this because I found this quite strange. The Elder that visited me said i could basically become a ‘sleeper’. Meaning that i could remain in the Org but do nothing. I could still be a JW, but not go to meetings, not do ministry, not be visited by other elders, and could decide when i wanted to return to meetings myself. I’ve never heard of this idea before. Anyway I declined it all and said that I no longer wanted to be one of JW’s. I was called into the Kingdom Hall for a meeting with three Elders to do the necessary ‘paperwork’. At the meeting i made sure that I was in control of my own situation. I told them i want no scriptures and no preaching, I just wanted to do the formalities and then leave. They were great, they did what they had to do and said goodbye and i left…. so all that was easy…. Now my physical brother is an Elder in a congregation in our home town near London. He knew exactly what i had intended to do, so once complete i phoned him and told him ‘job done’. He did not and does not disown me. He is not and will not shun me. In fact he has phoned me on several occasions already this year and it’s only February. He has also invite me up to his house to stay. He has a reason for doing so (and it’s not to preach to me) but, I have no idea how his family will react, so my brother has to handle it all. He’s an Elder, he may even be risking his ‘position’, but he understands God’s viewpoint, and God’s viewpoint is much more important than the Elders or the GB… So two cases, our daughter, and myself, where shunning is NOT happening. But hey this is England. Are we more tolerant here ?

    • Bob Gearhart February 27, 2018 at 5:20 pm - Reply

      John Butler, There are always going to be isolated cases of JW’s who personally decide not to shun family who have left, but as you have said, your brother may be risking his own position in the org by not shunning you. AS AN ORGANIZATION, JW’s will shun you if you leave, it’s what they teach and adhere to worldwide and unquestionably teach in the publications.

      • Samuel March 1, 2018 at 6:18 pm - Reply

        Can agree with this, I’m PIMO myself but still regard myself as a Jw in a christian or biblical sense, not really in the institutionalized meaning. I only have one God and one leader. But it seems that if they would change the official standpoint to reflect the actual conscience of individual members, then it would look quite different. I don’t know of any research of how many Jw don’t shun their relatives but it would be interesting to know. But I think each one should be mature enough to know themselves who they want to associate with. But I don’t really think the Bible demands COMPLETE shunning as in never speak to again, but rather limit association if someone has a negative influence, like convincing you to use drugs etc

  16. Matthew March 1, 2018 at 5:35 am - Reply

    I was raised as a JW. Four of my friends committed suicide before we were 25. Each individually and at separate times. One was disfellowshipped. The others were living double lives. I left when I was 26. That was a long time ago. I have family I haven’t seen or spoken to in many years. My mother passed away a few months ago. She was still an active witness. None of her family, my family, showed up except for my sister who also left the cult. Faith is one thing. This is another. Judge not…..

  17. Dale Norman March 1, 2018 at 10:51 am - Reply

    How awful that this happens. I know in other religions it happens too. There is so much hatred in this world and this is just another way to perpetuate it- all 9pf course in the name of God.

  18. Sheryll March 2, 2018 at 1:32 am - Reply

    Shunning an abusive played by abusive whom want death to you.. my shunners didn’t want just disfellowship … nope my abusive negecful mother… came right out and told me… you deseve nothing, she claimed she was worried and. Concerned but she wanted my kids.. as part of her abuse before she came out publicly with shunning .. she met secretly behind my back out to dinner with my now ex and gave him a threat to give me to scare me .. claiming after he did it she could help me cause she was concerned about a Bipolar problem.. so this jeck did and she decided I needed meds .. she also called pd claiming I was t taking my meds and I was leaving with the kids and how concern she was… really,?? Then CPS is knocking on my door.. four differ times cause my mother was holding. Family dinners talking about how much she hated my ex and me .. until my sister startes calling .. one of the report said and she’s Bupilar and not taking her meds .. thinking the state is going to just take my kids on what she said… then crimminal rumors start up .. by the same .. whom just happen to given a house because she was abusing and following abusive instructions … Then openly shuns oh so that what it the concern if you shun your daughter for marring whom you don’t like how would you see your Grandkids … oh the concern deepens saying your dead to me, ghost is gone, you don’t deseve anything…disfellowship .. is just coming up an saying we retract you membership find another church .. it’s not coming after you, threting you,, maliciously trying to cause bodily harm or death to you crimminal rumors … all that is not disfellowship …

  19. Sheryll March 2, 2018 at 2:00 am - Reply

    RLDS was shunned .. but in reading about. The other cults that shun… one flag about the JW comes up….that I read suplisinglu they come right and say it .. if a a girl accusss a man of rape.. they must not go the police .. interesting … then give instructions they must report the rape to the church instead .. and then they give a condition if the women dosent scream then she is shunned…. and these cults find are natorios for abusing … with manipulation … words … it’s just amazing

  20. Sheryll March 2, 2018 at 10:54 am - Reply

    These folks being judged rumors speead .with malicious within a church docks are members in … now that dosent they set your crimminal char he’s spreading rumors caused they were versed in this…. but in disfellowship thier should be no criminal acts of coming after kids.. name calling .. CPS .. no malicious rumors that shunning thats abuse ….when a group wants disfellowship they can say thier is no condemnation in Chris Jesus… but you need to another church cause we like the way you Cobb your or whatever .. but not come after your husband with rumors .. kids Come up to your job m,,, meet with you ex manipulating divorces then manipulating rumors cps callls to steal kids so you can have after you shunn them evil spirit ,, dead to them and walk up claiming they wee abused .. but can’t remember to cover up your cult . When a org group comes out .. doing thins it’s org crimminal activity ….anything that goes on. In the church .. should be reported … not well don’t call pd will decide if you screamed while claiming you were raped ../. Judge not less you be judged … it had no buisness in church … it goes to the police dept … people want to shun org crimminal stuff .. it goes to the pd.. rape ?? That no coin of if she screams leaves. Drugging a rape in.. raping of any age .. they have no business manipulating gods word to satisfy the churches .::obey the law of th land.. is what the Bible says.. so why should they say don’t go to the police??? They don’t know thier Bible or was that meant for somebody outside the cchurch .. does it say all those outside the church obey the law and those inside. If they rape you don’t go to the pd come to us will decide if you screamed and if we want to abuse you ok and shunn you ../.

  21. Sheryll March 2, 2018 at 12:34 pm - Reply

    I’m not reading about young adults , teens that grown up baptized in what
    They know as church…claiming they are baptized in the name Jesus Christ… so now they want act like,,,
    So the people want to condemn who you marry .. run you out of and say they don’t care they want your death… And after stealing claiming you don’t deseve it..
    these cults need to be held accountable according to the laws of land…
    If they wish body harm .. and set out to maliciously cAuse it claiming you betrayed your holy spirt .. they are full of crap… they need to be held accountable .. these are not Christian’s they are crimminal a

  22. Sheryll March 2, 2018 at 1:56 pm - Reply

    Inside the cults . The members are convince their families are the members .. not your daughter .. or anybody ../ so it’s easy for them to participate in crimminal activities of shunning. .. they include the cult in Christmas and holidays .. so they shut Family out claiming they are the family .. with cult seeking $$$$$ ….they responsible for picking up the Bible and reading …they will read it for you and skip around .. tell you Jesus died for men and not women .. men have the Holy Spirit and not women .. they can white crimminal supremacy ..stealing …. white collor crimes manipulating the Bible around’s up the indv person to pull thier head out … and read for themselves … .

  23. Sheryll March 2, 2018 at 2:13 pm - Reply

    Folks claiming to be great wonderful parents worthy of taking others kids and raising them .. in a environment claiming Jesus didn’t die for women??, that’s pulling your out…
    On the Jw side of shunning … they come right and say if a women claims rape make sure they up to us and not report it to the pd… so we can shunn the girl if she didn’t scream… are those instructions given for rapist ??, make sure your victims dosent scream .. and make sure you come to us so we can cover it up and get rid of the women…..
    And these parents walks in with thier girls and young women … under those instructions. . Why would a JW priest want to here the details of a rape??? And why would they want to be able shun after they get to hear it… are they sending men around to rape then here the details then shunning and then finding another wonen?,, doesn’t sound like Red Flag .. instructions …

  24. Sheryll March 2, 2018 at 3:59 pm - Reply

    Then in RLDS shunning … it’s well you own nothing everything to us.. attitude and you have nothing because you betrayed your Holy Spirit . Oh really ?,,,
    No they are out of thier minds….
    Your name on the title of my car?,,
    You give birth to my kids??? Your names on my kids birth certificate ??, thier not God …

  25. Sheryll March 2, 2018 at 5:10 pm - Reply

    Then it’s… thinking they do own your stuff … And then here’s what comes out from them..
    They claim oh she’s Bipolar with a runaway problem and she can’t function we have to function for her….and take her stuff..
    Then it’s she’s Bipolar with a memory problem??? Oh you mean you couldn’t get control of me with the first Bipolar statement … and needed another …
    Then it was we didn’t get control now we don’t want you around with a New diagnoses … a Bipolar problem that dosent like Holidays….
    You mean your a cult that wants to shun …and thought you could steal …

  26. Sheryll March 2, 2018 at 5:45 pm - Reply

    What about being invited to the RLDS church for funerals… you receive open shunning…
    What about being invited back for wedding they volunteer to have at the church??? Oh then you walk outside and your car is stolen
    Surgery of family member??? A call comes in there’s not enough seats in the here for you…and don’t come..

  27. Sheryll March 2, 2018 at 6:30 pm - Reply

    Then I get smart butt comments.. your ghost is gone….no it’s a 4 door white Grand Am….. did I spell that right??? Wanna make sure that was spelled right……

  28. Sheryll March 2, 2018 at 8:35 pm - Reply

    And this isn’t a short shun .. it’s over 17 years. Then about 5 years just coming. Around to see if they could manipulate kids …
    This is by family members or not idk what they are . ..
    anyway when Grandma or aunt would come down from Michigan throughout this time period . I would get a call from a mutual friend whom would tell me when relatives not involved involved the cult were in town…
    I would go and my mother would drop off her family members then come by and pick them up . … So they could all go to the casino …..

  29. Sheryll March 2, 2018 at 9:13 pm - Reply

    So this the RLDS , Community of Christ .. they are a cult … they do shun .. they try for kids.. either and defiantly put the fear of losing family members by shunning you in front of them or if any sisters .. whom try to talk to you .. and try to keep abusive control … my mother did that’. .. she also mannered to threaten my kids to shun them if they talk to me…..but all the family seem to follow around behind her like babies hooked to the abilical cord…anyway they are a cult……..

  30. Hillary Shaw March 2, 2018 at 10:19 pm - Reply

    Yet Jesus ate with tax collectors, harlots, samaritans,…….

  31. Enlightened March 2, 2018 at 10:20 pm - Reply

    Eastern Canada here. 45 members of my own family shun me because I left the Jehovah’s Witness organization. No contact since 2012 when their Watchtower magazine told them to treat as dead anyone who has left the organization even if they are family. Strangers say I have a great grandchild…………I don’t know, as I was never informed. Very sad religion. It ruptures families and communities.

  32. Nick Child March 3, 2018 at 11:14 am - Reply

    The large number of comments con firms how terrible shunning aka alienation is as a core method in all undue influence situations – not just JWs or religious cults or even just cults in general. My interest is in family situations where it gets called “alienation” as in parental alienation.

    Obviously, the point that is repeatedly made is valid: No religion, belief group or family group should control or punish the people, people that they suppose themselves to care about, by threatening and then actually cutting them off. This is the mark of a harmful mind-control group, Mind you even mainstream religions and groups and businesses operate something like shunning – eg marry someone from the wrong religion and you’re disowned by your family; speak out against your political party and you’re persona non grata thereafter.

    I wanted to suggest that there’s a bigger issue in this. The shunning is the tip of the iceberg that shows harmful undue influence is going on in these organisations. Just to be clear, it’s not that we’re saying: “If the JWs would stop shunning, then everything would be fine”. People should not want to be in these groups at all. If they’ve been brought up in them, and have family and friends in them, then the concern is not that the JWs should merely allow family and friends to communicate and have relationships. The concern is that those family and friends are still in a harmful mind-control cultic organisation.

    As I understand the tragedy of the Lauren Stuart family, the effects of the mind control are evident even ten years after leaving. Even a decade later, the Stuart family had not got over the mind-control and damning beliefs imposed on them when they were in the JWs. They must not have developed new satisfying relationships with others outside the JWs. So even those years and years later, the control of their minds was operating to the point of death being better than life.

    Shunning is a key and powerful method used in undue influence. But it’s the harm from the enduring totalistic mind control that is the major crime and concern that we should be working on. Even ten years later, people may need to be rescued from the damage and death from mind control. It’s not just a matter of preventing shunning and alienation.

  33. Jonny March 3, 2018 at 5:26 pm - Reply

    I lost five kids in a similar cult, called scientology. They are not allowed to see me as i mention to everybody who asks me that the cultleader is a paranoid greedy monster who uses hypnotic practices and i never will hide my words in a democratic society. If i say similar things to a normal catholic or hindu he will discuss or shrink his shoulders, but we can be friends.

    I ve seen a lot of other cults and how they control. It is always similar. The JW have more family sense, the scios are convinced that family is basically nothing, only useful. But in the end, its quite similar. Maybe the hypnotic methods are different, but effective. They do this as a threat. This is a thing, that a government should take under law like in france.

    Sure these cults go down, but this helps you not in the moment. This is the sad point. They spread rumors and we feel wake.

    The good point: you live your life, not their idiotic criminal life. My method is to avoid them, but never shunning them in their sense like they do.

    People with manners and a good sense of humanity will never use such practices.

  34. Agnaldo March 10, 2018 at 9:52 pm - Reply

    Eu consegui superar a fase de tristezas devido ao afastamento de familiares. Dei uma repaginada na minha vida. Descobri os Estudantes da Bíblia Livres, no Brasil, e foi a melhor coisa que eu fiz. Continuo servindo ao Pai Celestial sem ter que prestar contas a nenhum homem. Somos Livres de tudo o que nos prendia na JW.

  35. Elmay March 17, 2018 at 5:57 pm - Reply

    Very true and sad experiences of shunning by JWs of Wt and other organizations. With a mindset of investigating other religions and organizations –compared to TRUTH of GOD in any belief or form of creation have been dealing with the loss of two grown children for ten plus years. The pain is there every day–. Realizing God is greater than all the hate and meanness, helps me to hope for others suffering and wishing for God’s protection against the hopelessness of murder/suicide.
    Let us take comfort that all good people are God’s children and others need to wake up. Life is too precious for anyone to abuse another.

  36. Frank June 10, 2018 at 9:22 pm - Reply

    So many negative taught here, it’s all about pain and suffering, mental distress and anxiety. Listen if YOU ARE one of them…its all about perception. I have been disfellowshiped once at my earlier 30 S old. And be reinstated, only 9-month later! it was hard and I did suffer a lot, but if you know you want to serve God take the discipline and keep doing what is good.
    Now I am again disfellowshiped, but I try to not taking so personal. We go through this because WE did the wrong thing, and for some elders or the spirit believe its requirement to be, well embrace the facts, take your Shaun and go back to the meeting. You think its abusive? listen before I get disfellowship I did at least 5 or 6 times the wrong thing, within 15 years, I get a LOTS of compassion and merciful help. It seems I didn’t get the point. Well, I use to taught all this was a punishment of dead eternally…HWOUAAAA no no no it’s not. Relax and go back to your meeting. Its a discipline to make you stronger in your relationship with God and follow his law, to learn that sin is not for your good, and yes as YOU KNOW the wage of sin is death…so take it and dissociate your bad feeling and go back. God will not let you down trust me HE WILL NOT. Man can do that but not the love of Jesus Christ. Keep going, hang on, and you will be reinstated on time. And I know that most of the brother there really want to talk to you and see you coming back…perception perception perception…FIGHT BUDDY beat yours taught and seek God forgiveness. I love you whoever you are.

  37. john p long July 26, 2018 at 5:45 pm - Reply

    I’m commenting because I too am being shunned. I resigned 3 months ago. Live in Hampton VA. I was disfellowshipped 10 years ago for 2 years. When I resigned the shunned the next day and have continued. My wife also shunned in the beginning. Now she keeps talk to a minimum. We haven’t had relations in 2 years. I have been sleeping on the couch for almost as long. I left because shunning is not loving. To have to watch a 70 year old sister being shunned for almost 2 years was painful to watch. And I was required to shun her also.
    2 years ago I also found out that my wife is annointed. Great. We have a 5 year old girl. I was baptized in 1995 as a JW. They teach that shunning is loving. Who teaches this?? Where does it say this in the Bible?? I just followed along like everybody else. My wife never loved me. All she wanted was to be married to an elder who would follow like everyone else. Now I feel trapped. After 20 something years I made a lot of friends as JWs. I have to start over now because I am invisible to them.
    If I leave my wife I can’t afford to pay for two households. And I don’t want her raising our daughter without me being involved.
    My wife places her religion her Bible studies and her friends before me. Always has.
    I’m very frustrated and want friends in my life. What I really want is a partner who loves me unconditionally.
    Counseling has helped. However I had a relapse of being upset when this woman was walking down my street who has been going to the KH for many years but she is not baptised. I said hello and she ignored me. I persisted until she answered and she said oh your allowed to talk to me? I said if course, she said I thought you were disfelloshipped. I said I resigned. Then my wife poked her head out the back door and told the woman to enjoy your meeting go on. The previous day my wife and child went out to eat
    A brother came in to order food and said hello to my wife but refused to acknowledge me.
    This behaviour that is taught us wrong.

  38. Beck Smith July 27, 2018 at 12:34 pm - Reply

    Christian Longo did not commit suicide. He comitted familicide and is currently on death row. A movie was made about him a few years ago which featured two famous James Franco and Jonas ( forgive me l forgot his name) The idea of the media to portray this movie indicates two factors. ( l know this statement is cultish) One we our under the power of the wicked one and depression is a major mental health issue effecting thousands of people all walks of life.

  39. Eileen Adamczyk August 14, 2018 at 6:23 pm - Reply

    Just lost our shunned niece (JW) to suicide. We are heartbroken. We did have a chance to love on her and share the true gospel with her just before she took her life. Right before she died she got permission from her parents to visit with them. Her father (my brother) is quite ill. My niece texted me right after to say that it was so wonderful to see them and how much she loved them. As she was leaving their home my sister-in-law said that the visit was an exception and could not happen again. Our niece went home and took her own life. Such a tragedy.

  40. Gaetan October 26, 2018 at 11:21 pm - Reply

    I’m trying to meet with local ex jws. Anybody lives in Toronto?

  41. Brenda October 27, 2018 at 6:31 am - Reply

    My parents converted to JWs when I was 5yos when we were living on Long Island, NY. I was told that my beloved grandparents were pagans and they would be destroyed at Armageddon. This began to destroy all family relationships. Then my parents moved the family down to Tennessee where my father’s family lived so he could find a better job. At the time, the JWs in that county and another only numbered 15 publishers so the special pioneer elder immediately pressured my father to assume more responsibilities which he did. My parents had a horrible marriage and the only thing that kept them together was that horrid religion. My mother was very abusive and I saw her beat my little sister numerous times. Once my mother packed a suitcase and threw it and my sister out of the house – my sister was only 5 at that time. it was extremely traumatic and my entire childhood was a roller-coaster of such things. Over and over I was told I couldn’t do things either bc I was a girl or bc of the religion.

    I was not allowed to go to college. As soon as I could at 18 I moved out as I was told to either pioneer and live for free at their house or work fulltime and pay them rent. I moved out and paid my own rent working two jobs full-time. Eventually I married a Navy man and ended up in NYC after he got out of the military. We actually lived in Brooklyn Heights near where the JW headquarters were located. My mother then decided to visit with van-loads of her JW friends so that she could impress them with my apartment as well as expectations for me to pay for NYC tours for her friends which I sadly obliged.

    As my spouse became a coke-head I finally divorced him and my parents expected me to return to their faith. But I decided to get therapy to figure out why I had connected with such a person and I did not want to make such a mistake again. This was in the early 1990s. My parents made fun of my decision even though the WT was then blessing mental health care.

    After a severe work injury interrupted my ability to work, I moved back to Tennessee and lived with my paternal grandmother in late 1998. My parents were furious even though I bought them a swimming pool and paid for their vacations. I ended up attempting suicide in Dec 2001 as I could not make anyone happy including myself. Thankfully I was sent to a great mental health facility but none of my family would visit me. For years after my release, when my parents would drive by that facility they would call me and say, “we’re driving by your home away from home.”

    When my work injury case finally settled in 2007 I took my parents on a major 3 week vacation with all expenses paid. Afterwards my mother stole $15K out of my bank account but I just couldn’t have her arrested. I turned inward again and suffered another rough patch.

    I was later back in the mental institution in 2012 and then in 2016 all for suicide attempts due to issues with my so-called family and PTSD due to my traumatic childhood. Last year I had another rough patch and for the first time ever needed financial help from them – not one of them helped – I took it so badly that I tried suicide again last September and again 4 times this year. But friends kept finding me and calling 911.

    It’s terrible to have no family. As my mother is a covert narcissist she has destroyed the sibling bonds. I feel extremely alone and just want all the pain to end. I have no use for any religion and I no longer believe in any gods.

    I know when my SSDI case is finally resolved in early 2019 that my parents will try to be friendly again. But this time I am prepared. I know they only “love” me when I have money. They will find that I am totally unavailable and unreachable.

    My father should not be an elder as he has no control of his wife and my mother is all about status. Neither of them follow the path of the Jesus in the Gospel books. At least those four books have a great philosophy of love of which my parents are totally fake.

    I recall in the mid-1990s hearing about the JWs having little kids getting baptised and then within a few years so many of those kids were DF’d aka shunned for just being kids … so darn stupid. Religion is the most cruel thing on this planet, IMHO. It’s all about control, especially the control of women. Just disgusting.

  42. Eric Bonetti November 13, 2018 at 5:23 pm - Reply

    Shunning is not just the province of cults and Jehovah’s Witnesses. My supposedly inclusive church, Grace Episcopal in Alexandria VA, launched a campaign of shunning, ostracism and exclusion after I complained to the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia about rector Bob Malm’s bullying, as well as questionable HR, cash management, and financial reporting practices. The diocese basically told me to get lost, and has knowingly suppported Bob Malm throughout his campaign of shunning—which even went so far as to file a false police report against me.

    So, shunning happens, even in supposedly progressive, inclusive churches.

  43. Jennifer December 31, 2018 at 4:36 am - Reply

    I was also shunned with my siblings as teens, kicked out without means (food, clothing, shelter). Miraculously, a few years later, God put people in our paths who “saved” us, gave us love and hope and took us into their families. Sadly, one of my siblings recently passed away, in part, related to paranoia schizophrenia, that (accordingly to doctors) does not usually surface in adults, except in rare cases of extreme childhood trauma.

    I feel your hurt and pain. I am so sorry for your pain, your stories bring back similar memories.

    The JW religion focuses a lot of on the laws of the Old Testament, but when Jesus came, he said he was *replacing* those 600+
    Laws (used to give Israelites law and order) with a new covenant, which is nicely summed up as “love one another”, and “love your enemies” (Mark 5, John 4). So, we don’t have to follow those laws or do animal sacrifices, they don’t apply to us today.

    I believe disassociation of minors and adults is a clear contradiction of Jesus’s teachings about loving each other in the Bible, and how Jesus welcomed sinners and children to him. Jesus’s disciples included sinners, and people in the Bible questioned why he chose them.

    I believe the JW religion is just missing the point of Jesus’s teachings all about the new covenent about love in the New Testament. The more that we read God’s word (not the JW book, but the NLT version), the more contradictions surface in the JW message. If all you’ve heard is the JW message your whole life, I hope this opens the door for God to speak to you directly, in prayer and his word.

    For those of us who have lost someone who suffered, please consider Isaiah 57:1-2 (NLT), as food for our souls, to bring peace to our hearts. This will make sense if you read it.

    A song lyrics that I think applies to us all is MercyMe’s “Won’t You Be My Love”. I replay this to remember God is always there, talk to him. He puts people in our paths to fill the role of a parent or friend, think of the new people coming into your life.

    I just want to add volunteering… after all this suffering, you have an unequivocal depth of empathy and understanding, it’s not common. I get a huge spike in joy from helping people who are homeless and hungry, it hits so close to home for me, and mends my soul when I love others like I wish I had been loved.

    A book you might enjoy is “Walking with God in Pain and Suffering”, by Tim Keller. It changed my life, really helped me see things better, healed my broken heart.

    Lastly, it wasn’t until I forgave my parents (not that I agreed), but when I let go of the hurt that was hurting me, could I experience the freedom of trust and real joy. I am not saying I am perfect, it’s day by day, some days I am strong and some I am weak, but I get my peace back in his word and through fervent prayer (Fervent book, Priscilla Schriver).

    Prayers and love for you all. I believe you have so much potential to take your pain and turn into something incredible.

    I hope someone may benefit from these references.

  44. Pattie O January 14, 2019 at 6:29 pm - Reply

    I wrote my letter to leave the jehovah’s witness faith in 2010 after I had my first born, my daughter. It freed me. I recently through careful scripture and prayer, have recognized that God had been there all along trying to save me from this wicked organization that protects abusers and punishes people that are really seeking the truth. I have been shunned my family for years even before writing the letter. My parents didn’t attend my wedding nor do they try to have a relationship with my children. My mother has had said and done wicked things in order to make sure that I know that I can’t be blessed by God, but she doesn’t have that authority. Im so glad that I had the strength to walk away. My relationship with God, marriage, children, career, etc have been blessed by that. So, just remember that if you’re being shunned it’s all satan. That’s not the true Jehovah God. Satan disguises himself in religion. He’s good too. But make no mistake, God sent Jesus to witness to everyone not to cast judgment and separate himself. If you are feeling weak under the wicked pressure of shunning, get on your knees and pray for strength. Recognize the miracles that you have in your life and rejoice over those things. I reflect on the story of job because God will reward your obedience to Him, not man that is guided by an evil spirit.

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