By Spike Robinson2018-05-21T22:40:04+00:00on May 21st, 20180 Comments Gaslighting There's a lot of talk about gaslighting, but what is it, and how does it work? How much do you know about gaslighting? If you haven't read our article on gaslighting, we would recommend doing so before taking the quiz. Choose the best answer for each of the following: The term “gaslighting” comes from: the title of a novel about a woman coming to terms with a sudden change in social status as the mistress of a cabinet minister the title of a play about an emotionally abusive husband trying to convince his wife that she is losing her sanity the title of a movie about a narcissistic poet who confuses his guests by dimming the lights during parties When a skilled gaslighter is at work, you will begin to: see deception and trickery more clearly have no idea why you are feeling uneasy, and begin to doubt your own perceptions be told honestly and frankly everything that is going on A predator will use gaslighting to: confuse and incapacitate their victims, making them doubt their own sanity highlight the injustices done by someone far away create a comfortable, welcoming atmosphere When talking about gaslighting, the term “withholding” means: backing down and conceding a point rather than getting into an argument convincing someone to remain silent about abuse avoiding inconvenient questions by pretending not to understand, or refusing to be questioned at all A gaslighter will use teasing and belittling: to create a feeling of comfort and security by delivering a constant stream of tiny, subtle, deniable insults and jabs, to create a “death by a thousand cuts” only with people they know can “take it” In teasing and belittling, an abuser will often focus on: something random, like the dirty dishes in the sink or an old argument from months ago their victim’s sore points and vulnerabilities the political views they share in common with their victim Trivializing and minimizing can be used to: convince others that your circular reasoning is correct make you wonder if the abuse you’ve experienced is as bad as you remember make a logical fallacy seem acceptable A gaslighting abuser using trivializing and minimizing might say: “I’m really sorry I said that; that was uncalled for and I genuinely apologize.” “I see you’re upset; can you tell me why you feel so strongly about this?” “It was only a joke! why are you always so sensitive?” An example of countering and denying would be to: buy someone a hamburger when they really wanted a chicken sandwich telling a child that the abuse they suffered yesterday simply didn’t happen and that they’re lying to “make trouble” believing in something even when there’s evidence to disprove it Adept gaslighters will use countering and denying to: gain wealth, fame, and social status convince others to perpetrate abuse re-write past events to make themselves look as good as possible When all else fails, gaslighting abusers will rely on diversion and accusations to: direct all attention away from the fact that they are in the wrong help you piece together an accurate picture of what is going on between you detect whether or not someone else is lying An example of diversion and accusation would be: a parent belittling a child in public to teach them correct grooming habits the “pre-emptive strike” of an unfaithful wife accusing her husband of having an affair remaining silent about an uncomfortable truth to keep the peace A predator will use infantilizing and the assumption of authority to: distract attention away from any wrongdoing redirect blame to someone else take control of someone’s life One way to infantilize someone is to: constantly question their decisions and second-guess every choice they make refuse to speak to them insult and degrade something or someone they love When a gaslighter tells one person one version of the truth but another person a different version, in order to keep them divided, this is called: intervention triangulation disinheritance In essence, gaslighting is: easy to detect and prevent a way to make others comfortable and at ease the practice of obscuring abusive actions in order to escape notice Spike Robinson Spike belonged to an abusive "ritual magick" group. She is a gifted songwriter, performer and novelist. She has made the workings of coercive control her life's study. Leave A Comment Cancel replyComment Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Sign me up for the newsletter! Notify me of new posts by email. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.